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Posted by : Jonny Brighton Monday, 11 November 2013

Recently had lip injections, to create two small balloons around her mouth.


So it looks like teen ‘sensation’ Courtney Stodden, 19, and her (now ex) husband Doug Hutchinson, 53, have finally done the inevitable and broken up. The couple had a three year marriage (from the time Courtney was 16, while Doug was 51 to now), and were supposedly an incredibly happy couple having tremendous amounts of fun despite their massive age differences. I realise I’m writing a generally political website here, however I believe this ‘relationship’ has social connotations that I simply cannot ignore. So with the slight fear of looking tabloid-esque, these are a few of the many things that are bugging me about Courtney Stodden.

1)      When asked what went wrong, Courtney stated ‘my age, obviously’.

Now I’m no rocket scientist, and neither is the rest of the world, but I’m pretty certain anyone with half a chromosome can work out that a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old isn’t right, and certainly isn’t going to work out. But that’s not the worst part of this. Courtney has been spending the last three years of their marriage pushing away all speculation regarding their age gap and suggesting that love has no age (etc etc), and yet now she decides to state that ‘obviously’ the age gap was the reason – DUH world, of course it’s the age gap, what were we all thinking for the last three years.
2)      She won’t go into porn because she wants to keep her ‘dignity’.

Oh and the multiple half-naked, sexually provocative and generally seedy videos she has on her personal YouTube account haven’t already removed that. She likes to suggest that she is some innocent angel, yet she’s willing to appear almost naked, cage dancing on big brother. Her music video for her song might as well be the prelude to a porn film. She has no dignity left to keep, especially not in the area of pornography – although I’m not suggesting she become a pornstar, due to its moral implications, but don’t turn your nose up at the entire industry you pretty much represent in your actions. If this video doesn’t remove her dignity, I don’t know what does:

Oh wait, I do know what does – this song is why she cannot lay any claim to dignity:
3)      She is talentless (or at least in the field she’s trying to be talented in)

‘Don’t put it on me girl, don’t put it on me girl no, don’t put it on me girl, d-d-d-d-d-d-d’get out of my life. It’s not even worth my time discussing how terrible her music is, just listening to it makes me want to surgically remove my eardrums. Why is it that she gets fame and recognition while real talent in the music industry falls by the wayside, or goes wholly unnoticed? Oh yeah, because she’s got huge (fake) breasts and lacks clothing in her music videos. Breasts are not a talent, unfortunately.

4)      But most importantly, people actually like and care about her, and would defend her actions as perfect

Anyone is entitled to their own opinion, just as this entire website is based around my opinions. Those who feel that way about Courtney are no exception. However, I can name so many things that are far more important, far more interesting and far more likely to affect people’s lives than Miss Stodden. The fact that she’s all over the news today, taking time away from the tragic stories from the Philippines, the massive social and economic disparity this world sees, and other far more important areas of news is just another reason why people become misanthropists. Her breakup with Doug was more inevitable than rain in Britain, why do people care about it so much/look up to her as a figurehead. (Obviously I’ve written an entire article dedicated to her, however mine is simply to end three years of wanting to rant about her).


In summation, well done for finally realising that you change a lot between the age of 16 and 19, and also that your dad’s friend isn’t the best person to be married to (unless of course you’re only there to leech off of him and become famous/infamous…). And let’s be honest, Doug probably knew it was inevitable from the day he married her, he just couldn’t turn down the opportunity. 

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